"I know social media works... And I hate it." This whole piece is such an accurate description of our 'coming of age' in the digital era. From Myspace and beyond, I think we're all at a crossroads with how we don't want it to have so much power in our lives. Thanks for sharing!
"The drug has been cut too many times and we’re never getting back to that original high." - I loved this line in your post and feel exactly the same.
I'm not completely offline (as evidenced by me being here) but I use an app called ScreenZen to not use social media as much. It's been a big help from keeping me off of Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, especially at work; maybe it could be helpful for you too!
Can recommend a real camera. Highly. 35mm. You get etter photos because the subject of your photograph knows you're spending money on it, so they respect your effort. They won't look away or put their hand in front of the lens. You can't pore over the evidence, to maybe delete and stage it again, which always feels gross. And then you get a surprise of a memory $20 and a few weeks later. Kodak Ektar is mine of choice. Started doing it a couple of years ago and it's been wonderful.
This is so thoughtful. I’ve been recording and taking pictures for my self for a long time. Then, when I feel like it, I take a picture or video from my gallery and post o instagram.
I hope this social media madness end soon. For all of us.
Today I recorded my self installing ps2 games. Recorded for my self on my gallery. Later I uploaded on Instagram, some of the videos. It’s more intentional and you get a better quality version for your self.
As someone who just turned 60! I feel like I aged out of it all. Sure I love to post my pictures of beautiful beaches, and my little dog, but those posts are really just for me. Facebook is for 70 year olds who post about FUN NIGHT! At a local restaurant. Exciting stuff! I have food group I like to see local restaurants recommendations, so I get some value out of that. For me it’s just a nice way to go back and see what I’ve been doing,looks at family,friends and remember the importance of being together. Hate what it’s doing to our young people,pray we’re right and it’s dying out. AI is not going to connect us. It might help bring us back to what is real!
Really been enjoying your writing Robbe, one of my friends mentioned we're going to have "screen-time" coaches in the future and I couldn't agree more.
Can we go back to when our “feed” was Hot Pockets and Tang, and the only thing worth sharing was how far we could ride our bike with no hands? Back when the streetlights were our notifications to log off, and the only filter we needed was the dust on our faces after a day outside in two wheels…
Definitely guilty of spending too much time on social media. I have this fear of missing concerts or albums because I don’t know how else they are announced. I try to spend less and less time. If I could even get it down to checking it once a day maybe that would be okay. I’m reading more. But it’s the kids thing you mentioned. Even if I’m tired and can’t keep up with them sometimes I would rather just be sitting next to them doing nothing. They don’t need to remember me just staring at a rectangle.
Being in public and seeing just about everyone in their phones has become too much for me as well. Watching influencers influencing would absolutely send me, so kudos on not jumping out of any windows yet.
As for social media. I’m over the culture war bullshit. Back in the day you at least had to make an effort to get to the Harry Potter book burning, Judas Priest cassette crushing or Elvis Presley record melting party. That took planning. You had to go and buy the product that was to be destroyed, agree on a field or a parking lot to meet. Hopefully someone remembered to bring the matches. Nowadays you can show your ass while literally showing your ass. And whether you’re protesting a beer or competing in the Enlightenment Olympics, the result is the same and none of us are better for it.
For a little while, I got sucked into social media. I went through the phase of posting a lot, building an audience and hoping to build something on the side to hopefully replace my 9-5 someday.
Then I had a come to Jesus moment where I realized, I don’t mind my 9-5 and what would I be replacing but with? Writing and creating content that I don’t want to create just to write for said audience? How is that better than my 9-5? I wouldn’t have a boss? Well, I like my boss so that’s not a problem.
I got burnt out on the content creation hedonic treadmill. I’m burnt out from all of it. It’s gross honestly when you see people who can’t even ride a few floors on the elevator without going on their phone. It’s made people inherently antisocial and it’s socially acceptable which it shouldn’t be.
Most people will go their entire lives without talking to someone at the lobby of the doctors office or sitting next to them on an airplane and I think that’s a strange lonely existence. You can exist in someone’s space and you mutually ignore each other. Like the other isn’t there and you will both pretend like you never saw each other in the seconds you separate. It makes you feel alone and the other person feel alone with the answer to their loneliness being right in front of them.
I am with you on all of this, 100%. A few months ago, I was on the water taxi with my son, coming back from his soccer practice on the other side of the inner harbor here in Baltimore. The sun had just set, we're drifting on this free boat ride, and there's an enormous harvest moon just above the horizon. I mean, it was just amazing and I got to share that moment with my son as we talked and waited for the boat to drift to the point where the American flag on top of the building where my wife works poked the moon as our sight line passed through. It was one of those things that was just so simple but so great and you had to be there at that exact moment in time for it to happen. Across the deck from us, was another father and son, both about the same age as us. The boy was immersed in some sort of mobile game, the dad scrolling through social media. Not a word said between them, both focused on their screens the entire boat ride. It was one of the most depressing things I've seen in recent memory and my heart hurt for all of it.
The moment where I realized to stop the social media hedonic treadmill was about a month before I got married. I think it was from me reflecting on what kind of husband and father I want to be.
Instead of posting mindless stuff on social media, I want to post and write something that would be meaningful to my family and future kids. Something well thought out and not some random twitter rant that is a regurgitation of thousands of other Twitter rants.
How do you navigate social media given that you kind of have to be there for your different brand involvements? Or are you wanting to just go cold turkey and figure out the business stuff from there?
I stopped managing the Believe in the Run side around two years ago, Meg does that now. If I have an interesting idea for a reel, I may still make one, but it's not a job requirement at this point. We don't manage other clients either anymore. I can't delete the app because I do have to post sometimes for my job, but as you can see from my own account, it's pretty sparse. Mostly it's just keeping myself from opening the app, because Instagram is so good about curating an endless spool of things I find interesting to watch, but offer little to no real value.
The tension between using platform X for actual value (DMs, posting one’s own content) vs. getting caught in an infinite scrolling loop is real. Thanks for writing this and keep the faith. I do feel like a real change is coming.
I have been thinking about getting off SM in 2025. I’ve been unfollowing loads of nonsense. I’m so done with it. I want to read more. I have a pile of books I haven’t cracked yet. I read on my iPhone but it’s not the same. I usually end up on IG or playing Best Fiends 🙄. Another great read. Loved your Origin story on The Drop today. Have a good week.
Yesss I'm the same way with the pile of books. Also, just writing a book... I could've written many books by now! Thanks for listening to The Drop as well.
Amen, dude. I've had a lot of the same thoughts about my own relationship to Instagram, particularly how my music intersects with it. It's one of the reasons why I've ended up here and doing a lot less on Instagram. Sometimes, I wonder if we collectively made a mistake by thinking that the internet and social media aren't the "real world", when in fact they are very real and have a very real influence on our lives. And I imagine that is why it's so difficult for social media to go away completely, because these apps have become such a viscerally real part of our daily lives. But we've always had the power to change our habits and not helplessly live in thrall of it. I don't know if completely eliminating it is the answer or even a feasible solution, but we also don't have to be completely dependent on it to feel connected to other people and ourselves. Thanks for writing this.
Ugh, you're right, they absolutely are the real world. It's no longer "hey did you see that show," it's "hey did you see that reel." Which I guess can be interchangeable, but it's so ephemeral, unlike movies or TV shows that seemed to have some sort of substance to them.
A tough call to walk away for you given how you make a living .. compartmentalize, it’s all you can do . My middle boy is a catwalk model and the (and the daft, dopey but thoughtful human that me and his brothers know ) is very different to his ‘too cool for school’ public persona. As he started when he was 18, he can literally turn it on and off, possibly for your long term sanity the person who comes home to the family at night needs to separate part of himself from the well known team of running related premoters. It's a tough one because that open(ish) human side of you which you bring to the table is what has most of us reading suppertime .. if you leave to much just for the important people , would you in turn become a vacuous carbon copy influencer?
Yeah, as you know, I unfortunately have to utilize it in some ways for my job. Something I used to love, but just feels claustrophobic ath this point. Interesting question regarding the carbon copy influencer. If I'm on it, I'll still be open. And I don't hate posting on it or sharing on it from time to time, it's more of my daily engagement on it and the time it takes from me personally when I get sucked into it.
"I know social media works... And I hate it." This whole piece is such an accurate description of our 'coming of age' in the digital era. From Myspace and beyond, I think we're all at a crossroads with how we don't want it to have so much power in our lives. Thanks for sharing!
"The drug has been cut too many times and we’re never getting back to that original high." - I loved this line in your post and feel exactly the same.
I'm not completely offline (as evidenced by me being here) but I use an app called ScreenZen to not use social media as much. It's been a big help from keeping me off of Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, especially at work; maybe it could be helpful for you too!
I will have to check it out because nothing else has helped yet, and I do legitimately sometimes need to use it for work so I can't just delete it 😭
Can recommend a real camera. Highly. 35mm. You get etter photos because the subject of your photograph knows you're spending money on it, so they respect your effort. They won't look away or put their hand in front of the lens. You can't pore over the evidence, to maybe delete and stage it again, which always feels gross. And then you get a surprise of a memory $20 and a few weeks later. Kodak Ektar is mine of choice. Started doing it a couple of years ago and it's been wonderful.
I love that, thanks for the rec dude!
Fantastic read mate, taking the thoughts from my own head.
Thanks for reading!
This is so thoughtful. I’ve been recording and taking pictures for my self for a long time. Then, when I feel like it, I take a picture or video from my gallery and post o instagram.
I hope this social media madness end soon. For all of us.
That seems much more intentional, for sure. What's sad is that how Instagram used to be, and now it's turned into a horror show.
Today I recorded my self installing ps2 games. Recorded for my self on my gallery. Later I uploaded on Instagram, some of the videos. It’s more intentional and you get a better quality version for your self.
As someone who just turned 60! I feel like I aged out of it all. Sure I love to post my pictures of beautiful beaches, and my little dog, but those posts are really just for me. Facebook is for 70 year olds who post about FUN NIGHT! At a local restaurant. Exciting stuff! I have food group I like to see local restaurants recommendations, so I get some value out of that. For me it’s just a nice way to go back and see what I’ve been doing,looks at family,friends and remember the importance of being together. Hate what it’s doing to our young people,pray we’re right and it’s dying out. AI is not going to connect us. It might help bring us back to what is real!
Really been enjoying your writing Robbe, one of my friends mentioned we're going to have "screen-time" coaches in the future and I couldn't agree more.
It’s gonna be a wild time for sure. Thanks for reading!
Can we go back to when our “feed” was Hot Pockets and Tang, and the only thing worth sharing was how far we could ride our bike with no hands? Back when the streetlights were our notifications to log off, and the only filter we needed was the dust on our faces after a day outside in two wheels…
Would give everything in life to have that again, not for me, but for my kids and all kids everywhere.
Definitely guilty of spending too much time on social media. I have this fear of missing concerts or albums because I don’t know how else they are announced. I try to spend less and less time. If I could even get it down to checking it once a day maybe that would be okay. I’m reading more. But it’s the kids thing you mentioned. Even if I’m tired and can’t keep up with them sometimes I would rather just be sitting next to them doing nothing. They don’t need to remember me just staring at a rectangle.
Being in public and seeing just about everyone in their phones has become too much for me as well. Watching influencers influencing would absolutely send me, so kudos on not jumping out of any windows yet.
As for social media. I’m over the culture war bullshit. Back in the day you at least had to make an effort to get to the Harry Potter book burning, Judas Priest cassette crushing or Elvis Presley record melting party. That took planning. You had to go and buy the product that was to be destroyed, agree on a field or a parking lot to meet. Hopefully someone remembered to bring the matches. Nowadays you can show your ass while literally showing your ass. And whether you’re protesting a beer or competing in the Enlightenment Olympics, the result is the same and none of us are better for it.
Hahaha, yes, totally. Make boycotts meaningful again.
For a little while, I got sucked into social media. I went through the phase of posting a lot, building an audience and hoping to build something on the side to hopefully replace my 9-5 someday.
Then I had a come to Jesus moment where I realized, I don’t mind my 9-5 and what would I be replacing but with? Writing and creating content that I don’t want to create just to write for said audience? How is that better than my 9-5? I wouldn’t have a boss? Well, I like my boss so that’s not a problem.
I got burnt out on the content creation hedonic treadmill. I’m burnt out from all of it. It’s gross honestly when you see people who can’t even ride a few floors on the elevator without going on their phone. It’s made people inherently antisocial and it’s socially acceptable which it shouldn’t be.
Most people will go their entire lives without talking to someone at the lobby of the doctors office or sitting next to them on an airplane and I think that’s a strange lonely existence. You can exist in someone’s space and you mutually ignore each other. Like the other isn’t there and you will both pretend like you never saw each other in the seconds you separate. It makes you feel alone and the other person feel alone with the answer to their loneliness being right in front of them.
I am with you on all of this, 100%. A few months ago, I was on the water taxi with my son, coming back from his soccer practice on the other side of the inner harbor here in Baltimore. The sun had just set, we're drifting on this free boat ride, and there's an enormous harvest moon just above the horizon. I mean, it was just amazing and I got to share that moment with my son as we talked and waited for the boat to drift to the point where the American flag on top of the building where my wife works poked the moon as our sight line passed through. It was one of those things that was just so simple but so great and you had to be there at that exact moment in time for it to happen. Across the deck from us, was another father and son, both about the same age as us. The boy was immersed in some sort of mobile game, the dad scrolling through social media. Not a word said between them, both focused on their screens the entire boat ride. It was one of the most depressing things I've seen in recent memory and my heart hurt for all of it.
The moment where I realized to stop the social media hedonic treadmill was about a month before I got married. I think it was from me reflecting on what kind of husband and father I want to be.
Instead of posting mindless stuff on social media, I want to post and write something that would be meaningful to my family and future kids. Something well thought out and not some random twitter rant that is a regurgitation of thousands of other Twitter rants.
How do you navigate social media given that you kind of have to be there for your different brand involvements? Or are you wanting to just go cold turkey and figure out the business stuff from there?
I stopped managing the Believe in the Run side around two years ago, Meg does that now. If I have an interesting idea for a reel, I may still make one, but it's not a job requirement at this point. We don't manage other clients either anymore. I can't delete the app because I do have to post sometimes for my job, but as you can see from my own account, it's pretty sparse. Mostly it's just keeping myself from opening the app, because Instagram is so good about curating an endless spool of things I find interesting to watch, but offer little to no real value.
The tension between using platform X for actual value (DMs, posting one’s own content) vs. getting caught in an infinite scrolling loop is real. Thanks for writing this and keep the faith. I do feel like a real change is coming.
I have been thinking about getting off SM in 2025. I’ve been unfollowing loads of nonsense. I’m so done with it. I want to read more. I have a pile of books I haven’t cracked yet. I read on my iPhone but it’s not the same. I usually end up on IG or playing Best Fiends 🙄. Another great read. Loved your Origin story on The Drop today. Have a good week.
Yesss I'm the same way with the pile of books. Also, just writing a book... I could've written many books by now! Thanks for listening to The Drop as well.
Amen, dude. I've had a lot of the same thoughts about my own relationship to Instagram, particularly how my music intersects with it. It's one of the reasons why I've ended up here and doing a lot less on Instagram. Sometimes, I wonder if we collectively made a mistake by thinking that the internet and social media aren't the "real world", when in fact they are very real and have a very real influence on our lives. And I imagine that is why it's so difficult for social media to go away completely, because these apps have become such a viscerally real part of our daily lives. But we've always had the power to change our habits and not helplessly live in thrall of it. I don't know if completely eliminating it is the answer or even a feasible solution, but we also don't have to be completely dependent on it to feel connected to other people and ourselves. Thanks for writing this.
Ugh, you're right, they absolutely are the real world. It's no longer "hey did you see that show," it's "hey did you see that reel." Which I guess can be interchangeable, but it's so ephemeral, unlike movies or TV shows that seemed to have some sort of substance to them.
A tough call to walk away for you given how you make a living .. compartmentalize, it’s all you can do . My middle boy is a catwalk model and the (and the daft, dopey but thoughtful human that me and his brothers know ) is very different to his ‘too cool for school’ public persona. As he started when he was 18, he can literally turn it on and off, possibly for your long term sanity the person who comes home to the family at night needs to separate part of himself from the well known team of running related premoters. It's a tough one because that open(ish) human side of you which you bring to the table is what has most of us reading suppertime .. if you leave to much just for the important people , would you in turn become a vacuous carbon copy influencer?
Yeah, as you know, I unfortunately have to utilize it in some ways for my job. Something I used to love, but just feels claustrophobic ath this point. Interesting question regarding the carbon copy influencer. If I'm on it, I'll still be open. And I don't hate posting on it or sharing on it from time to time, it's more of my daily engagement on it and the time it takes from me personally when I get sucked into it.